Separation and Divorce
This changes everything. You're not imagining that.
Separation and divorce don't just end a relationship. They rearrange housing, money, parenting, and identity all at once. You may be making the biggest decisions of your life on almost no sleep and more stress than you've ever carried. You don't need all the answers right now. You just need a place to start.
9 guides · 35 steps
What the plan covers
9 guides. 35 concrete steps.
Each guide covers one part of this event. Inside it, Gaite walks you through specific steps with the documents, deadlines, and people that go with them. Your plan includes the guides that fit your situation. Anything you do not pick stays ready for later.
01Before Things ChangeIf you're still deciding whether to separate, or you've decided but haven't acted yet, this guide helps you understand what you're actually facing, think through the impact, and make your first moves carefully instead of reactively.4 steps
- Understand what separation and divorce actually involve
- Assess safety and power dynamics
- Build private financial awareness
- Think through the impact on children, housing, and daily life
02First Things FirstWhether you just found out, just told someone, or just moved out, this guide helps you figure out what matters most right now: safety, documents, and a plan for the next few days.4 steps
- Name what's happening and what you're feeling
- Assess whether safety planning is needed
- Protect access to critical documents and records
- Decide what needs to happen in the next 48 hours
03Getting Through the First Days and WeeksBills don't stop. Kids still need rides. Life keeps going even when you can barely function. This guide helps you stabilize housing, money, routines, and basic daily life so everything doesn't fall apart while you figure out the bigger picture.4 steps
- Stabilize housing and figure out who lives where
- Set up temporary money and bill management
- Establish communication ground rules
- Create a basic daily structure that works for now
04The Legal and Financial PictureMost people don't know how any of this works until they're already in it. This guide helps you understand the legal process, get your hands on the financial records that matter, and make sure you're not agreeing to things you don't fully understand.4 steps
- Understand the legal process where you live
- Decide whether you need an attorney, mediator, or both
- Build a complete financial picture
- Prepare for temporary orders, filing, or negotiation
05Your Kids Through ThisChildren are usually the most affected and least consulted people in a separation. This guide helps you protect them from adult conflict, keep their routines as stable as possible, and make sure they have support even when you're barely holding it together yourself.4 steps
- Decide what to tell the children and when
- Create a temporary parenting schedule
- Keep children out of adult conflict
- Get support for children who are struggling
06Untangling the Shared StuffPasswords, phone plans, insurance, autopay, subscriptions, cloud accounts, beneficiaries. The shared infrastructure of a life together doesn't just dissolve when someone moves out. This guide helps you separate it all before oversights become expensive or dangerous.4 steps
- Lock down digital accounts and devices
- Review and update insurance and benefits
- Separate subscriptions, autopay, and shared services
- Update beneficiaries, emergency contacts, and estate documents
07Taking Care of YourselfYour body is going through this too. Sleep, eating, stress, work, basic daily functioning - all of it takes a hit during separation. This guide helps you keep yourself together enough to handle everything else.4 steps
- Address the basics: sleep, food, and daily functioning
- Find the right therapy or counseling support
- Figure out how to keep working through this
- Build a routine that holds you together
08Your People and Your BoundariesFriends take sides. Family members give advice you didn't ask for. Your faith community may not know what to say. Your ex may not respect the new rules. This guide helps you manage the people around you so they help instead of making everything harder.4 steps
- Set boundaries with your ex-partner
- Manage supporters who mean well but make things harder
- Handle the social and community fallout
- Address faith, meaning, and moral conflict
09What Comes AfterThe legal end of a marriage is not the emotional end. This guide helps you deal with the identity questions, the administrative loose ends, and the slow work of figuring out who you are now and what you want your life to look like.3 steps
- Plan for post-decree financial stability
- Clean up the administrative loose ends
- Start building what's next
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